Who Do I Want to Be?

I've written before about the kinda school year I had this past year. How crazy everything was, and just how God was moving.
I remember people telling me "God will heal you." I'd always reply "If He chooses to." I knew He had a reason for keeping me where I was. I said what I believed almost bitterly because I didn't yet know the reason why God had me where He did. God showed me then that He wasn't my fairy godmother who'd poof out of no-where and say "bibbide-bobbide-boo" and everything would be just peachy. It wasn't as simple as all that. He wanted me to learn
There were times that I fasted later on. God showed me then what beauty truly is. Throughout my life I've struggled with being pretty. I've never been a girly-girl. I didn't where make-up until I was a sophomore in high school. I wore gym shorts daily and owned one pair of jeans until I was a junior in high school. I always struggled with the fact that I didn't fit in with other girls. I wasn't pretty like them. I was plain, simple, and in my eyes, ugly. God's been showing me that that isn't what beauty is. I shouldn't crave compliments like "I love your hair today!" or "Where did you get that shirt? It's so cute!" Those compliments aren't on my character, and don't make an adequate judgement of what kind of person I am. God changed my heart during this year to a new direction. I want to be the girl people say "Oh that Sarah, she is such a sweet girl." or "She really loves people and reaches out to them." or most importantly "Sarah is really a girl after God's own heart, and you can see her passion for Him!" THAT is who I want to be. THAT is who I hope people see. Not what my make-up looks like that day. Not what my hair decided to do with itself. Not my clothes. Just Sarah. Just a girl who strives every day to look more like Jesus. I'm not saying that I'm there. And I'm most certainly not saying people see that in me, but I hope I set that example. Because THAT is who I want to be.